Falling to Pieces

Another colleague passed away today.  She had been diagnosed suddenly with a terminal illness with a prognosis of 6 months to live.  It was so sudden that most of us heard through an email, and never had the chance to see our colleague again.  We had unfortunately, to fight to get her lump sum retirement... Continue Reading →

Funny Business

I stole this one.  My partner told me a story about this hamster that was rushed to the vet.  It had been lying paralysed in it's cage for unresponsive for three days without taking any food or water. Fearing the worst the owner took the hamster to the vet, only to discover the pet had... Continue Reading →

04:05 AM- Shifting Sands

Was lying awake and suddenly realised my head was absolutely full. Too much going on.  Nothing prioritised. Everything comes at me with equal importance.  It all seems important.  Everything seems to hit me with force.  Everything feels personal. All of the voices seem too loud. I am suddenly struck with horror that I didn't offer... Continue Reading →

I Have Used Everything Up

I have used my therapy up.  I have used a lot of my friends up.  I have used my partner up.  I do not know whether I am well or not.  I don't know whether I am progressing.  I don't know whether I am disassociated.  I don't know whether I am paranoid.  I don't know... Continue Reading →

I’m Writing it but am I feeling it?

There have been some positive words written on this blog so far.  There has been a search for meaning.  Writing for the last few weeks has given me a foundation, it has seemed like a steadying influence. I am still on 30mg of citalopram, and betablockers for anxiety as and when I feel I need... Continue Reading →

Clinging On

You are on the ropes, you hold on.  You are trapped in a corner. You hold on. You can't step left, or right.  You break the momentum of your opponent.  You tie things up.  You hold on.  The blows slide off the sweat slick skin.  You suck in air, your rib cage lifts, you hold... Continue Reading →

Solstice 04:33

It is 04:33 AM. The sun is rising as it has over the Earth for the last 4.5 billion years.  The birds have begun their merry exultant chorus call, signalling vitality, prowess, dozens of notes fly through the air per second, one thousand notes, the songs have been song back and forth through the branches... Continue Reading →

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